Gotta Grab the World by the Ballz

Just another weblog

Archive for the ‘Observations and Thoughts’ Category

Update long Overdue

Posted by fredfierce on October 15, 2008

Hey whats up to anyone reading this (the very very few)….I just got back from an awesome workout, and I figured I would blog about whats been going on in my life and in my game. It’s been long overdue….

I havent updated in a few weeks. I thought that posting FRs/LRs was putting too much pressure on myself when I went out. Whether it was because I’m trying to impress people reading this or some other reason, but for this period in my game, it has had a negative impact in my game. Sicne I stopped blogging, I’ve been more relaxed when I go out, even if some AA creeps back.

The past few weeks have been a stressful time in my life. I feel like its a test against my manhood…whether or not I can take the pressure of life and keep plowing through it. I’ve been studying a lot for my CPA exam….to the point where I actually stayed in last weekend to catch up. With studying, I also am working 40 hrs a week, going out on weekends to improve my skills with women, while trying to maintain a strong relationship with my family and with my friends back in town. The studying and work hasnt been SO MUCH of a problem for me. I find time to go out on weekends despite studying for hours.

The hardest part of this whole transformation journey has been staying true to my friends at home. Fortunately, I dont have a problem of having my friends feeling threatened by my progress. We dont have a structured hierarchy of friendship in that sense. But, since 3 months ago, I’ve distance myself from them. I go out to the city now with my wings…and although I am so grateful to go out with great guys on the weekends…I feel guilty for ditching my noncommunity friends when events occur, and when they want to hang out. I try my hardest to keep them around…to keep them in my life…but slowly…they are fading away. I dont hear from them as much anymore. I’m torn between staying with the people in my past…and continuing on with my journey alone. I know I have to march forward…I feel like this what I was meant to do and to be. But I still value my friendships from the past…and eventually…it will be one or the other.

I write this because I basically lost one of my true best friends. To really make a long story short…I dont like this girlfriend and dont want her in my life. I’ve known her for 5 years…and I truly believe she is a horrible person. The final straw came in June at a party. Me and his gf were talking like friends, when she started to go off about how much she “wanted to fuck me” and that “if we were single….she would jump me”. With an accumulation of shit she has done to people with the end being with this confession, I decided that instead of telling my friend what happened…I decided to not be around them anymore (they hang out ALL THE TIME so guy time would not be an option). People reading this might disagree with me….that I should’ve told my friend. I’ve contemplated this all summer, and I could not get myself to do that. This girl is his world, and my friend is her world. Breaking this apart would kill me inside….and make me feel like a horrible person.

So after months and months of not talking….my friend decides to message me on facebook to clear the shit that happened and to move past it. In return, I told him that I dont want to hang out with his girlfriend anymore and that I dont appreciate what she does to people. In return, he told me that they’re eventually going to get married, and that he doesnt think he can be friends with someone who cant be friends with her.

To be honest with you, I dont know what I did was the right decision. I believe that as a man, I need to know my values and my morals. And also as a man, I need to stay true to those things and to my core…and keeping her out of my life stayed true to what I believe and value. Unfortunately, I lost one of my best friends because of that.

Did I make the right decision? I believe that as a person whose growing into his own…on this journey…I need to cut out the negativity and the people who are going to hold me down. She was the biggest weight off my shoulders. My friend was a casulty because of the situation. I think for once in my life, I need to think about whats good for me….and not whats good for everyone else. I need to be true to my core…to not put myself in situations that does not agree with me.

And is anyone also going through the dilemma of losing or distancing from non community friends? If you have advice…let me know.

Anyway….next week is my post-3 months write up on my progress since July bootcamp. I’m going to write it up next week and probably post it here for people to read.


Posted in Observations and Thoughts | Leave a Comment »

When All Else Fails….Remember Your Past

Posted by fredfierce on September 10, 2008

I was gonna write a FR tonight, but on the way home from the gym…I started thinking about how down I was last week about my game…and ended up having a huge epihany…so I posted this on RSDN. Here it is…

Before we got into the community, we didn’t have confidence. We had limiting beliefs about our looks, our personalities, our financial situation, and we thought we had low value. CHODE-LYNESS. We tried every piece of advice (movies, parents, music, novels) to win that special little gal over with no success. But too bad… she was off riding the cock of that “asshole”, who she “never deserved to be with”. We thought things would just…WORK ITSELF OUT…and we’d finally be happy.


But then we found the community. We found routines or natural game. We started approaching at clubs and bars…putting ourselves on the line. We NOW demand change. We NOW decide that something must be done before life passes us by. Our tired of the ways life has gone thus far, and now we’re taking right action.

But then we realized that it wasn’t as easy as we thought. We go “sarging” for weeks and months with little success. We have great nights and horrible nights. Girls blow us out, they curse at us, they turn they’re backs. But once in awhile, we’ll get that number. YAY! We’ll get that makeout or close. Darnit….but I’m in the COMMUNITY now….pulling girls should be easy! 😦

So what do some people do when things aren’t going ideal? “I thought I was gonna be a mega pimp by now!~!1”. They go bye bye….they disappear into the sunset…but not before they officially announce to the message board that they’re bye bye. Peace DragonSlayer69. Kiss my pee pee.

Why did they leave?


Their chode limiting beliefs disappear, but they’re new GAME limiting beliefs emerge. Back in the day, it was “I dont have that amazing job or car to pull chicks”. Now they believe, “I’m not alpha or dominant enough….it’s just not me!”

They don’t appreciate their current improvement of transformation. Instead of thinking “Hey….back 4 months ago, I wouldn’t approach a cute girl….but now I’m taking charge of my life….I’m going out 3 days a week…and with positive self critique and consistency…I know I’ll reach my goals”; they’ll just get frustrated and down on themselves because of they’re own success barriers.

But to some people, that’s not good enough. And quite frankly, they’ll never be happy because they’ll never be “good enough” in any situation.

Let’s use a hypothetical situation. Let’s take an introverted guy and call him Gary. Gary joined the community and learned pick up six months ago, and when he first started….he was creepy as hell, but at least putting himself out there. He had no social skills whatsoever. But he didn’t give up. He consistently went out 3 nights a week, and approached 5-10 girls a night.

Fast forward six months to today. He’s starting to get pretty good. He can get a decent amount of numbers…he’s had a few makeouts, and even pulled once. Fuck yea. But he’s not that sex worthy guy. In sets, he’s entertainer man…and at times…he tries too hard for a good reaction. But he has come a long way, and went from creepy to entertainer. With enough consistency and practice, he will be SO close to becoming full circle into being a natural. Sure…he could argue or be frustrated that he’s not a natural, but he’s made a complete 180 degree transformation from six months ago. He could say he doesnt have what it takes to be a true natural, and give up. But instead…he stays positive…and looks back at his life before joining the community, and truly appreciates where he is NOW. Gary will keep on with his journey.

Remembering your past, and where you come from originally will always keep you upbeat and positive in this game

Because when you’re pist that you got blown out, or when you fucked up a pull with a hottie at a bar….you can look back to the past, and remember when that the ability to approach or pull wasn’t REMOTELY close to your old reality. When you believe you should leave this community because you’ll never be good enough, go back to the time where you cried over that girl, or stalked her at her house late at night…..laugh at it…and say to yourself “Wow….how far I’ve come”

Just because your standards of life has changed, doesn’t mean you should give up when new challenges come your way.

Appreciate the transformation…the journey…the process…the adventures.

How could you ever go back?


Posted in Observations and Thoughts | Leave a Comment »

In the near future….

Posted by fredfierce on September 3, 2008

I decided today that I will go through a 30 day challenge starting October 1st. That way I can end it on Halloween…and what an awesome day to celebrate victory with an awesome holiday.

Posted in Observations and Thoughts | Leave a Comment »

Stepping it Up

Posted by fredfierce on September 3, 2008

Okay so I’ve been meaning to write this post since last week but since talking to David today, I feel like its finally time to write this. Me and him were talking last night…and he was telling how pist he was on Sunday night after reading The Judge’s 30 day challenge post BC report. I too have been following it through RSDN…and we’re both feeling the fury. I think its without saying that we’ve both made progress…and we know we can kick it up a notch. So I’m listing a guideline for all sets….

1) Kino must be used! There must be some physical contact initiated by me besides the formal handshake. If not done….the person will be forced to be chode slapped (stolen from TheJudge and GoldenChild)…punishing them for acts of pussery.

2) In every set…you must be either getting her number or trying to make out with her. The latter of the two is recommended more, but both are suitable. This way…it will be escalating into something instead of chodeservationland.

3) At the entrance of each venue…you MUST approach the first set you see. Taken from the Flawless Natural. It doesnt matter if it hooks or blows out. We dont care. Approaching right off the bat will allow you to stay out of your head and to set the right tone for the night.

4) We must be in sets for the first 20 minutes of the night. Also taken from the Flawless Natural.

5) You must approach YOUR hottest girl at the club. It’s YOUR 10! Not your wings or other peoples.

Those are the guidelines. Pushing myself out at that comfort zone. The rules have been set. I’m also writing this after talking to Rudey. I explained my problem with escalating….and he explained back to me that its so important. You will either get blown out or get laid. I can deal with that. It’s better than not pulling at all, and every conservation fizzle when i HAD the chance for something if I lead it that way. We’ll see how this goes in next FR

Posted in Observations and Thoughts | Leave a Comment »

Another Year I Grow Older….What have I been doing?

Posted by fredfierce on August 21, 2008

Originially I was going to write up a FR from last Friday, and I plan to still do so. But this past Wednesday I turned 23…and while I was walking to the club that night, I really looked back at how much my life has changed since the year before.

Last year, I was a very confused and depressed guy. My dad had verbally broken me down for years, and up until this point, I was less than a half of my former self. I couldnt remember the last time I was happy. I didn’t have a direction either. I would walk around with so much stress for no reason…and I could never find out why I was like that.

Life couldnt get worse. So I thought. With the light slipping through the cracks of the dark cave…I had an amazing and beautiful girlfriend. Her name was Jessica. She loved me more than anyone ever did. Although she loved me more than anyone ever has, and amazing in bed…I just never felt the same for her as she did for me. We connected physically more than we ever did emotionally. And while her hometown is in NY, she went to school in South Carolina, making the long distance difficult for me. Here is her picture below….

I decided to end things with her because I felt I was stagnating. With the long distance being a factor….I just felt like I plateaued in life….as if I didnt reach my full potential as a man. Although I didnt know what my potential was, or what I was really looking for, I knew that something was lost and needed to be found. Little did I know back then that I really just lost touch with my true self. So I took a big risk. I could’ve easily stayed in my own little comfort weird with my perfect girlfriend, or I could embrace the unknown…to fight the burdens and hardships that my life had accumulated.

Fast forward to today. I looked back at this day…walking to the club…excited for the adventure I was about to embark on. I started to work out hard again….getting myself in great shape. Also for the first time in my life…I fully invested in myself. I spent good amount of money for a RSD bootcamp….which took me way out of my comfort zone…showing me that with hard work and dedication, I can be that sex worthy guy that I know I am. I’ve reconnected with my family, and am working hard at my job. I’ve learned through The Blueprint and Eckhart Tolle the true meaning of prescence, and learning how to walk through life with ease. I no longer stress out about little things, and rarely about big things. I love to go out….no longer sheltered in my room watching my favorite movies and playing my favorite video games. I’ve dropped negative people out of my life, and reconnected with old friends who I originally dropped out of my life for stupid and petty reasons. I can sit outside on my porch…. and just be….happy. I’ve become one of the most positive people I know. Little by little, day by day….I climb the mountain of life…and although it can be difficult at times…I wont stop now.

So another birthday has past. This year will only get better. I’m determined to progress in life and to excel in areas of my life that I choose. The year of being 22 was just the beginning. I intend to make 23 the best year of my life. To finally get what I deserve.


Posted in Observations and Thoughts | 1 Comment »

Bootcamp Eve

Posted by fredfierce on July 18, 2008

Its the night before RSD bootcamp. I thought I’d be terrified but I’m not. For someone who used to worry about every little thing….this is actually a weird thing for me.

My main goals are massive approaching and reference experience. One day, I want to be able to see that hot goregous girl, and approach her with massive confidence. If I can achieve that this weekend, then I’ll be a happy guy. Anything else I learn and gain out of this experience will be awesome as well.

Well see you in a few days.

Posted in Observations and Thoughts | 5 Comments »

Random Thoughts 7/15/08

Posted by fredfierce on July 16, 2008

I’m sitting here bored….possibly going out tonight to a club. I’ve been meaning all day to write some random thoughts floating around in my head this week….

Bootcamp is this Friday. Fuck…I’m pretty nervous now that it’s a few days away. The small little chode in me wants to not go. The chode would rather spend Friday night seeing The Dark Knight. The chode says “Hey man, why take a bootcamp now…you got two makeouts this week…you’re making enough progress on your own”. I know this is complete bullshit though. As a strong man, I’m taking care of what is impoirtant to me. Let’s face it….my goal is to be able to bang the hot chicks that I never could. To be the best man I can be, and to lead by example. This weekend is a huge step for me, and as a man….I know this is my mission. Much like I do anything, i will be 100% LISTENING and LEARNING. Whether it’s my trainer at the gym, or with my boss at work….I’m always looking to improve and to never let me ego enflate. The same will apply this weekend. I’m facing the unknown….but I’m ready.

I’ve been reading The Way of a Superior Man. I’m a little bit halfway through the book and WOW, what an awesome read so far. So many ideas that the author writes are so much directly related to pick up…and RSD’s philosophies and ideas. He explains the crucial importance of masculine and feminine polarities. Having a strong polarity is what makes relationships and intimacy work. The man is the giant oak tree and the woman is the chaotic squirrel climbing around the tree. He also teaches the importance of trusting in yourself. The woman cant take charge…she cant lead…and she cant make crucial decisions by herself. She goes through an array of random emotions a day, and she needs a man she can trust to be “her rock”.

I look back at my past relationships that failed, and I finally realized why they did. I was indecisive…I was reactive and emotional…I didnt trust myself….I was too logical when my girl just needed me to love her and hold her instead of “trying to figure her out”. It’s funny really…because my first love broke up with me a few years ago. She never gave me a reason why, and I dont think she stills knows. It drove me crazy, because I wanted to know so badly why, and what I had done wrong. But the truth is, shes a highly emotional and chaotic woman. She needed a solid and unshakeable man that she could trust to guide her through her emotional rollercoaster. That wasn’t me back then. :Sigh: It feels so good to get all that out. When I’m done with this book, I’m going to write a review of it on my blog.

Last random thought is this….WOWWWWWWWWW I fuckin love women LMAO. Like youre thinking to yourself….well no shit Fred…you wouldnt be into pick up and RSD if you didnt. But recently…I dont know…I crave feminine energy so much. Their smooth and soft skin, their submissiveness, their sensuality, their beauty is really driving me insane. I was at the gym last night during the ellipitcal machine. I’m tired as fuck and sweaty all over. All of a sudden, a young woman walks by me. She was long brown hair in french braids, slim build with muscle, tan with a nice ass. I imagined her in bed with me, layign there as I held her…with my arm around her as she become submissive to my masculinity…

While I think this, a shot of energy came through me. It wasn’t horniess. It was just her feminine energy flowing through my body. I never felt somethoing like that before. Maybe because I didnt allow myself. But lately, I’m just enjoying women completely for who they are, and I’m not afarid to accept that. It feels AMAZING…its rejuvenating.

Anyway, Enough thinking…time for action….Next entry should be friday. Peace

Posted in Observations and Thoughts | Leave a Comment »

Goals of 2008

Posted by fredfierce on June 25, 2008

I have been improving my life in many areas. When I watched the Blueprint, it really changed my life and my thoughts. So I came up with a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in 2008. The purpose of this is to always keep improving my life…to make sure that I’m never stagnating. Here a few goals that I’ve created…

1) To drop 15-20 pounds: At the time that I watched the BD, I weighed 202. I’ve been lifting weights 3 times a week, and the other 4 days I’m doing from 45-60 mins of hard cardio. As on Monday, I’m down to 191.

2) To go skydiving: This has always been a dream of mine for years. I’ve always vowed to do this sometime in my life, and what better time than now? Me and my friend are going sometime this summer and I can’t fuckin wait.

3) To read at least 5 books: Since school has ended, I’ve avoided reading books. The only books I’d ever read were wrestler’s biographies. I’ve decided to read at least 5 books this year. So far, I’ve finished A New Earth (which has always changed my life for the better), and I’ve more than half way through The Fountainhead.

4) To become a natural with women: Well as you can tell from my previous post, this area has become the most difficult in my life; but also the most important to me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself that I truly feel this force in me. This sex worthy guy. It is a raging beast stuck in a cage. It begins to emerge, only to have my mind force it back down inside of me. The interactions that I’ve had with women at bars have actually gone pretty well, and I’ve surprised myself on more than one occasion at how well I can be. I feel the natural in me. I know I am, but it has a bunch of social conditioned garbage on top of it. I can’t back down from this. I am indeed a NATURAL man. I want to fully express myself.

I’ve blamed it in the past on my friends. That they didn’t know this information I had, or they didnt have the balls to approach. That’s bullshit. There’s no one else on this journey expect for me. No liferafts, no crutches, no one there to hold my hand. I’ve become destined to do this, and I’ve become destined to express my uber positivity to the world. If anyone is reading this, and would like to leave me an inspiring/encouraging comment, I’d greatly appreciate it.


Posted in Observations and Thoughts | 1 Comment »

It’s coming…..

Posted by fredfierce on June 10, 2008

I got my bonus check at work today. Two grand. Hmmmm….what else costs two grand? Oh yea…a RSD bootcamp


hmmmm…..        🙂

Posted in Observations and Thoughts | Leave a Comment »

I mean come on…who gives a shit?

Posted by fredfierce on June 5, 2008

I’m sick and because I have my peer review at work tomorrow, I figured it was best to stay in tonight. Now originally this post was going to reflect on a except from the book The Fountainhead that really hit home for me, and related to what I’ve been going through. It was about destroying the ego, and somewhere deep down, I still need to get rid of the very last lingering part of it. Maybe I’ll post about it tomorrow…depending on how I feel and how well I can put decent thoughts together. But tonight, something unexpected happened, and I suppose this a rant/eye opener.

Tonight I wake up from a nap to a text from my ex girlfriend. Now, we’ve been good friends since we broke up and we still are, even after she started seeing someone new. So anyway, she sends me all these texts about how her boyfriend broke up with her today, and that she wants to end her life (shes being dramatic btw…she wouldnt do this), and theres nothing worth living for anymore. I tried to calm her down saying that she has a lot to live for.

Maybe its because I’m sick that this all struck a nerve in me. Maybe because she woke me up from a well-needed sleep, that I thought to myself….WHO GIVES A SHIT?!

Now, dont get me wrong. It’s perfectly acceptable to be heartbroken, and terribly upset about a break up….trust me, I’ve certainly been there before, and it most likely will not be the last time I go through it.

But it was just how much she rambled on with the idea that she had nothing else to live for, and that its useless to stay positive anymore that really bothered me.

Do we read the news? There are people in countries on the other side of the world that don’t know if they’ll wake up alive the next morning. How about the U.S. troops over in Iraq who are not only fighting in a war that we are against in the first place, but have to live in fear of coming near a terrorist with a bomb strapped to his chest.

So step out of this box we call life. We have a home. We have money. We have the opportunity to become anything we want and do anything we want. We have the right to disagree with someone without fear of being executed. We can walk to the deli, order a sandwich, without having to worry whether or not we’ll make it back home alive. We can the opportunity at any moment to improve our lives; whether its with work, friends, women, etc.

I don’t try to judge, because this girl has a lot of awesome qualities, which is why I stayed friends with her in the first place. I believe I am no better or worse than anyone. But I wanted to write this post not really to talk down about her, but I wanted to write this for myself. Over the past few months, I’ve been less stressed and worried because I realized half the shit I did worry about was never worth it.

And this kinda relates to what I’m going through now. I have improved my life a ton in the last few months, but I still have this problem with not allowing myself to go up to a really hot chick and talking to her. So really, after all this…WHO GIVES A SHIT?! It’s a person…just another person….and if she “blows me out”…I’m still alive, and I’m still the awesome person I was 5 seconds before I approached her. I know that whether or not it works out with the person…that I’m still the positive, fun, social, dominant, and caring guy that I’ve always been.

This game is our journey. We have the PRIVLEDGE of being on a journey. Do diamond workers in Sierra Leone have the privledge to emback on a journey? Hell no.

So what I’m trying to end with is this; take the good and the bad as a gift. The bad in life should be valued just as much as the good. Because the bad isn’t really that bad anyway. We should learn and grow from the good and the bad….and having the privledge to do so is a blessing in itself.

haha so there it is…I feel tired and delusional with feeling crappy tonight…. so i hope this kinda made sense to the sane people reading this, because it sounds awesome to me :-p. I’m supposed to be going out tomorrow night, so depending on how I feel, I will type up a FR and keep on moving forward in my journey. Cheers brothas


Posted in Observations and Thoughts | Leave a Comment »