Gotta Grab the World by the Ballz

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Archive for October, 2008

Update long Overdue

Posted by fredfierce on October 15, 2008

Hey whats up to anyone reading this (the very very few)….I just got back from an awesome workout, and I figured I would blog about whats been going on in my life and in my game. It’s been long overdue….

I havent updated in a few weeks. I thought that posting FRs/LRs was putting too much pressure on myself when I went out. Whether it was because I’m trying to impress people reading this or some other reason, but for this period in my game, it has had a negative impact in my game. Sicne I stopped blogging, I’ve been more relaxed when I go out, even if some AA creeps back.

The past few weeks have been a stressful time in my life. I feel like its a test against my manhood…whether or not I can take the pressure of life and keep plowing through it. I’ve been studying a lot for my CPA exam….to the point where I actually stayed in last weekend to catch up. With studying, I also am working 40 hrs a week, going out on weekends to improve my skills with women, while trying to maintain a strong relationship with my family and with my friends back in town. The studying and work hasnt been SO MUCH of a problem for me. I find time to go out on weekends despite studying for hours.

The hardest part of this whole transformation journey has been staying true to my friends at home. Fortunately, I dont have a problem of having my friends feeling threatened by my progress. We dont have a structured hierarchy of friendship in that sense. But, since 3 months ago, I’ve distance myself from them. I go out to the city now with my wings…and although I am so grateful to go out with great guys on the weekends…I feel guilty for ditching my noncommunity friends when events occur, and when they want to hang out. I try my hardest to keep them around…to keep them in my life…but slowly…they are fading away. I dont hear from them as much anymore. I’m torn between staying with the people in my past…and continuing on with my journey alone. I know I have to march forward…I feel like this what I was meant to do and to be. But I still value my friendships from the past…and eventually…it will be one or the other.

I write this because I basically lost one of my true best friends. To really make a long story short…I dont like this girlfriend and dont want her in my life. I’ve known her for 5 years…and I truly believe she is a horrible person. The final straw came in June at a party. Me and his gf were talking like friends, when she started to go off about how much she “wanted to fuck me” and that “if we were single….she would jump me”. With an accumulation of shit she has done to people with the end being with this confession, I decided that instead of telling my friend what happened…I decided to not be around them anymore (they hang out ALL THE TIME so guy time would not be an option). People reading this might disagree with me….that I should’ve told my friend. I’ve contemplated this all summer, and I could not get myself to do that. This girl is his world, and my friend is her world. Breaking this apart would kill me inside….and make me feel like a horrible person.

So after months and months of not talking….my friend decides to message me on facebook to clear the shit that happened and to move past it. In return, I told him that I dont want to hang out with his girlfriend anymore and that I dont appreciate what she does to people. In return, he told me that they’re eventually going to get married, and that he doesnt think he can be friends with someone who cant be friends with her.

To be honest with you, I dont know what I did was the right decision. I believe that as a man, I need to know my values and my morals. And also as a man, I need to stay true to those things and to my core…and keeping her out of my life stayed true to what I believe and value. Unfortunately, I lost one of my best friends because of that.

Did I make the right decision? I believe that as a person whose growing into his own…on this journey…I need to cut out the negativity and the people who are going to hold me down. She was the biggest weight off my shoulders. My friend was a casulty because of the situation. I think for once in my life, I need to think about whats good for me….and not whats good for everyone else. I need to be true to my core…to not put myself in situations that does not agree with me.

And is anyone also going through the dilemma of losing or distancing from non community friends? If you have advice…let me know.

Anyway….next week is my post-3 months write up on my progress since July bootcamp. I’m going to write it up next week and probably post it here for people to read.


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