Gotta Grab the World by the Ballz

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I mean come on…who gives a shit?

Posted by fredfierce on June 5, 2008

I’m sick and because I have my peer review at work tomorrow, I figured it was best to stay in tonight. Now originally this post was going to reflect on a except from the book The Fountainhead that really hit home for me, and related to what I’ve been going through. It was about destroying the ego, and somewhere deep down, I still need to get rid of the very last lingering part of it. Maybe I’ll post about it tomorrow…depending on how I feel and how well I can put decent thoughts together. But tonight, something unexpected happened, and I suppose this a rant/eye opener.

Tonight I wake up from a nap to a text from my ex girlfriend. Now, we’ve been good friends since we broke up and we still are, even after she started seeing someone new. So anyway, she sends me all these texts about how her boyfriend broke up with her today, and that she wants to end her life (shes being dramatic btw…she wouldnt do this), and theres nothing worth living for anymore. I tried to calm her down saying that she has a lot to live for.

Maybe its because I’m sick that this all struck a nerve in me. Maybe because she woke me up from a well-needed sleep, that I thought to myself….WHO GIVES A SHIT?!

Now, dont get me wrong. It’s perfectly acceptable to be heartbroken, and terribly upset about a break up….trust me, I’ve certainly been there before, and it most likely will not be the last time I go through it.

But it was just how much she rambled on with the idea that she had nothing else to live for, and that its useless to stay positive anymore that really bothered me.

Do we read the news? There are people in countries on the other side of the world that don’t know if they’ll wake up alive the next morning. How about the U.S. troops over in Iraq who are not only fighting in a war that we are against in the first place, but have to live in fear of coming near a terrorist with a bomb strapped to his chest.

So step out of this box we call life. We have a home. We have money. We have the opportunity to become anything we want and do anything we want. We have the right to disagree with someone without fear of being executed. We can walk to the deli, order a sandwich, without having to worry whether or not we’ll make it back home alive. We can the opportunity at any moment to improve our lives; whether its with work, friends, women, etc.

I don’t try to judge, because this girl has a lot of awesome qualities, which is why I stayed friends with her in the first place. I believe I am no better or worse than anyone. But I wanted to write this post not really to talk down about her, but I wanted to write this for myself. Over the past few months, I’ve been less stressed and worried because I realized half the shit I did worry about was never worth it.

And this kinda relates to what I’m going through now. I have improved my life a ton in the last few months, but I still have this problem with not allowing myself to go up to a really hot chick and talking to her. So really, after all this…WHO GIVES A SHIT?! It’s a person…just another person….and if she “blows me out”…I’m still alive, and I’m still the awesome person I was 5 seconds before I approached her. I know that whether or not it works out with the person…that I’m still the positive, fun, social, dominant, and caring guy that I’ve always been.

This game is our journey. We have the PRIVLEDGE of being on a journey. Do diamond workers in Sierra Leone have the privledge to emback on a journey? Hell no.

So what I’m trying to end with is this; take the good and the bad as a gift. The bad in life should be valued just as much as the good. Because the bad isn’t really that bad anyway. We should learn and grow from the good and the bad….and having the privledge to do so is a blessing in itself.

haha so there it is…I feel tired and delusional with feeling crappy tonight…. so i hope this kinda made sense to the sane people reading this, because it sounds awesome to me :-p. I’m supposed to be going out tomorrow night, so depending on how I feel, I will type up a FR and keep on moving forward in my journey. Cheers brothas

+Fred

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