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THE POST OF GENESIS

Posted by fredfierce on May 28, 2008

A 22 year old kid from Long Island walked into Millenium Hilton Hotel on May 23, 2007. He dabbled in “pick up” for about two months, making small and tiny progresses here and there. A step up from before that time, but still lost in the dark completely….

I could never really remember the last time I felt free. Even in my childhood, I dealt with more severe anxiety attacks and breakdowns than I could remember. I still don’t know what caused them, and I’m not going to find out. My father went through periods of not talking to me. I remember the days and nights sitting in my room; he would come into my sister’s room to say hello and shoot the shit, and I’d sit there at the edge of my chair hoping he’d come acknowledge me, only to see hear him walk past my room. I still to this day, still think of a reason to be treated this way. Me as a young sensitive teenager took that to heart, and felt I wasn’t worth much. Hell, if I wasn’t to my dad, than why would women?

I got hook ups here and there, and relationships that I fucked up because I was too insecure. Then it was a few months ago where I fell ass backwards into this community. Seeing men like Tyler, Jeffy, Ozzie, etc., as well as the “top guys” on RSDN to make huge changes in their lives to get where they are today truly aspired me. I always knew my potential, but I never allowed myself permission to take a risk. I have nothing to lose. I really don’t have a choice anymore. Knowing that there are guys out there just like me making huge progresses in their lives because they said “We need a fuckin change” gives me hope that I will too.

The Flawless Natural Superconference opened a new way of thinking from me. I met some of the best of the best there is; Tim, Alexander, Nathan, Ozzie, and Jeffy…all shedding light on the attendees, and chipping away my chode armor. I learned that stepping out of my comfort zone is the only way to get better.  I learned that through everything in life, I must be whom I was meant to be. I learned that it is okay to be that touchy feely guy that can display his physical manly dominance. The epihanies and A-HA moments were numerous, and I feel like I walked out of the superconference on Sunday as a new man. I met other positive awesome guys who just like me, want to make a difference in their lives. Shout out esp to TheWarlock and Rudey (already making nice progresses from the FRs I’ve seen)

So I’m starting to blog for a couple of reasons. It’s an investment in myself. It will track my progress and force myself to reach past my comfort zone to get my ultimate life goals. It will give me no excuses. I can’t give up. Go out or die. I’m starting this blog to create a no way out scenario.

I truly believe that there is light at the end of this chode cave. But I have to keep digging and digging….keep on keepin on without looking back….

This was the intro blog to establish the journey. To lay the foundation of where I used to be….to never have to rehash the past and leave it where it is. I will incorporate FRs, and epihanies as they come. Hopefully pictures as well. Take care brothers.

+ Fred

 

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One Response to “THE POST OF GENESIS”

  1. rudey said

    Right on…Looking forward to the first field report…keep em coming!

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